Psychopath - Narcissists - Sociopaths: Who do you love?

Breakups are hard. When you are dating a psychopath, sociopath or narcissist, they are even harder. The subliminal abuse that you endured during the relationship was not quite enough to allow you to break away, until now. You are likely feeling the worst heartache you have ever felt. You are not alone. 

Persons with sociopathic, psychopathic, or narcissistic personality disorder often mask their character with charm and charisma. In the early days, they appear to be the love of your life. They are interested in all the same things. Like you, they love all the same things. They mirror you because they want to be like you. And it's the quickest and easiest way to ensure you will love them back. 

Once you fall head over heels, slowly over time, they begin to pick away at your self-esteem. They gradually erode the person you were when you met. The things that attracted them to you are suddenly despicable faults. It begins with the clothes you wear. They used to compliment you on them but now they are frumpy and old. And when you change them, you are suddenly cheating on them, trying to allure a new romantic partner. They accuse you of the very things they are already doing behind your back. They project their lack of self-love and self-confidence onto you. And because you thought they were amazing, you believe what they say. Until you don't. 

Narcissistic personality disorder is rare, but the tactics they use are not. Some qualities that they possess:

• Sense of self-importance

• Preoccupation with power, beauty, or success 

• Entitled
• Can only be around people who are important or special

•  Interpersonally exploitative for their own gain

•  Arrogant

•  Lack empathy

•  Must be admired

•  Envious of others or believe that others are envious of them(Gottman Institute, 2024)

Unfortunately, gaslighting and cheating are more and more common. If you have suffered from a relationship with someone who has done these things to you, there is healing. There is strength to be found in rebuilding and regaining yourself. 

Don't give up.